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You don't know what to say and that is ok

It is not uncommon that you feel a bit nervous when you first start to have counselling. If you never had counselling before, you may wonder things such as: what am I going to talk about, where shall I start, what is expected from me in a session, how the counsellor is going to respond to me, etc. Sometimes, these worries become so overwhelming that people quit even before trying and thus miss the support they can get from a counselling service.

If you are thinking to get counselling but are stuck with some fears, the facts below may help to ease the worries and make it easier for you to reach out for the support you deserve.

Fact No.1:

It is completely OK if you don't know what to say or where to start or stuck with silence in a session. A good counsellor will not laugh at you, criticize you or push you to say things that you are not ready to say. Sometimes silence is exactly what is needed and it has its unique value. So take your time to stay in silence and collect your thoughts and feelings. No need to rush. If in some occasions, the counsellor asks you a question that you don't know the answer, it doesn't mean you fail anything, it simply means at this moment, you both don't know the answer yet. And the counselling itself can be a process for you two to find it together, if needed.

Fact No.2: Whatever you bring to talk about in the session is valuable even when you feel there is no logic. You can see it as a piece of a puzzle, right now probably you don't know where it would fit, but it always belongs to the big picture. Once you and the counsellor collect enough pieces, you both can put them together and some patterns or clues will appear and lead you to the next piece. You will slowly unwrap things and see more and more clear the whole picture. Remember that it is a journey of exploring and expressing, not an exam to test your abilities.

Fact No.3:

It takes time to get comfortable with counselling. What is counselling? Basically it's you telling your very private feelings and thoughts to a complete stranger. Even if we do have confidentiality to protect your basic rights, hey, it is still a complete stranger! So feeling uncomfortable and unsure is completely normal. You will need time to get to know that person, build up your trust and get familiar to this new type of relationship. If you allow yourself to give it a try, usually it will get better after few sessions. A good counsellor will not judge you and you will naturally feel more and more comfortable to talk about the things that you haven't been able to share with anyone in your life.

Counselling is about you. In this time and space, we care about how you feel, we listen to your concerns and worries, and we support you in the best way we can, and that means we go with your pace.

So no worries, take your time, when you are ready, we will be there.

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